I don't like it. It feels weird to smoke alone. My hands are shaking and my eyes burn. I don't feel like myself. I wonder how others do it so easily. Everything is shaking. I don't like the smell. I don't feel like myself. I feel like throwing up a little. What I really want is satisfaction. And I don't have any. Smoking did not give me that. I want this feeling to pass. Maybe ice cream will help. I don't know. Maybe it won't. I think I need some juice. I will go and get some. I want the smell to go away. I don't know why I thought I would like it. I wish I never have this craving again. I will never smoke again. Not because it's wrong. It's not. I just don't like it. I don't like this feeling. I can't enjoy anything else that I normally like and I don't enjoy the high either. I thought I would. I want company. I don't like being alone. I am going to throw all this away, get some juice and eat my ice cream. Maybe I'll read a book. Somewhere along the way I lost myself. I should have never started drinking. I admire those people who never drink. There's nothing for them to miss. I wish I could forget what it feels like to smoke. I will get a like soda too. Maybe just the lime soda. I want to sleep. I will call my mom. I will forget about this and move on now. It's over.